cheetahbug

this is not a misnomer

2009-08-05T20:47:00.000-07:00

odaytay ashay eenbay arfay romfay oodgay.

histay siay hetay ayway iay seduay otay riteway henway iay asway niay choolsay saay aay idkay.

avesay emay weetsay ordlay ndaay aketay emay ackbay ithoutway hetay ainpay.

wallowsay.

urgepay.

eleaseray.

2009-07-25T01:11:00.001-07:00

kerry internet bitchass twitter.com/kerryloh says:
one guy
and i'm getting so fed up with people bringing that up
honestly
he's been the nicest
more sincere one
as compared to any of the other guys i've ever done ANYTHING and NOTHING with
and i don't regret that night at all
the only thing i regret is not being able to feel anything more than friendship for him
because he seems like someone who'd treat me right.

FUCK IT MAN.

2009-07-24T23:55:00.001-07:00

kerry internet bitchass twitter.com/kerryloh says:
I SAW THAT
you know right
i realised
that more and more pictures i've taken recently
have me looking like i just bawled my eyes out
em says:
hahah no what
its cos all the photos remind you of is how you felt whne you took them
which is what you've been feeling for the past month; sad alone rejected

i could be happy

2009-07-14T04:44:00.000-07:00

2009-07-12T10:37:00.000-07:00

i refuse to stop till i get to hospital.

2009-07-12T09:23:00.000-07:00

hi. restriction starts tomorrow. 100lbs by end of the month. 110lbs by saturday.

loneliness is better when you're not alone. hello saferide.

2009-07-05T05:49:00.000-07:00

2009-07-05T05:16:00.000-07:00

I just typed the lengthiest reply to an email. It's really like I should have a filter on my mouth.

Spent the day with Lionboy over at my aunt's place, where we were completely stuffed of course. It's so unfair how skinny she is! Lionboy was pretty determined to teach me how to ride a bike, but I fell asleep on the floor and it started to rain. She calls it bad luck, I call it divine intervention.

A tweet just came on twitter. And I feel so pressured to live up to it. In more ways than one.
Beautiful people hardly ever think they're beautiful.
So how do you know if you really are beautiful?

Loneliness is better when you're not alone. Such a gorgeous song. It has been on repeat for the longest time (: I'm trying to decide if putting these sad songs on repeat is better than before when I would put my thinspo playlist on repeat. Can't help thinking that I need to go back to my restricting days. Y'know, back when I was thinner. A little smaller. A little prettier. I found all my old collarbones, hipbones pictures and I'm trying to keep away from my thinspo folder. Not cause I don't wanna fall back into that, more because I feel guilty for not doing more to get back to the way I used to be.

hipbones gone.

collarbones gone.

waistline gone.

this stinks.

we're gonna need a pretty song to save our souls.

2009-07-04T12:38:00.000-07:00

Well I haven't updated in the longest time. But I've decided that I need to fill up this blog with narcissistic ramblings of life and love and that to come.

It frustrates me to no end how we are such an ANNOYING race, and I say race but I don't mean Chinese. I don't even mean Asian. I mean the whole damn human race. cause that's just what we are ; human. We know this of course, we acknowledge how annoying we are. We tell each other about each others' bad habits, fickle-mindedness, assholic instincts and of course, the very real potential to hurt. Yet. We remain so full ourselves, we dare to flaunt our faults in so many different forms. I watched a beautiful video for the millionth time today. It shows two people, so insanely in love with each other, the thought of each other, the taste of each other, the smell of each other. and i bet, that everybody else who watched that video, forgot their cynicism for a second, and wished that there was somebody out there who would love them to that extent. But then reality kicks in, we are enlightened. we know that we were the ones directing the video, we were the ones who wrote the lines that spawned in our lonely minds, who taught the actors how to act out a scene of love despair and yearning for which we ourselves yearn for.

I hate how we are so proud of how we are so lacking.

There must be a reason why we have to broadcast this. There must be a reason why I'm doing the exact thing I'm complaining about.

I wish for simplicity. I wish to be a brick in a big brick wall. To watch the people who pass me daily. I will feel solid. strong. surrounded. And I hope to one day have my eyes covered by a shade of eggshell. To live blindly for a bit. To eventually be seperated from the other bricks around me. and to be dropped into the bottom of the sea tied to an ugly criminal's wrists. Contradict my former wish, and be a pretty interesting brick. I'm so tired and my ramblings do not make sense. They jump around the page like how I am always unable to concentrate on one thing for long, like how I am always unable to connect my thoughts in my teensy weensy brain.

hi, here's a picture of bricky goodness to bring our minds back to. this?

and you should, you should
have given me wings by now
so I could catch your eye

2009-04-28T05:21:00.000-07:00

hello schweetmeats. i don't have any pictures of what i wore today cause i was late for school. this is all you're getting. i look like this every morning. it strangely resembles a hungover hobo in a bathrobe.
how fetching. bryan and i are deciding if we should go for lollipop next week. and butter fact's having their birthday party on saturday. man oh man. i'm supposed to imposing a clubbing/alcohol ban. today chuck looked at me and said,'you have wrinkles.' kill me now.

i want to rock the pegged jean look like garance. then again. the ysl heels could have something to do with it.

reminisce.

2009-04-27T06:02:00.000-07:00

As tiny vessels oozed into your neck
And formed the bruises
That you said you didn't want to fade
But they did and so did I that day

So one last touch and then you'll go
And we'll pretend that it meant something so much more
But it was vile, and it was cheap
And you are beautiful, but you don't mean a thing to me

2009-04-26T23:09:00.000-07:00

who's a lazy bugger? i'm a lazy bugger. i had originally pulled on a pair of leggings and an oversized cardi but dammit. the sun was shining, the heat was killer. and i switched to a cute dress and heels instead. so much less somber no? thinking about going down to far east plaza after school to pick up a pair of 'more than balamin, less than margiela' ripped tights/jeans. inspiration for the week ahead.

balmain
meets
margiela
equals
yay! <3

so this week will be all about the jeans, and dramatic tops.
in rainy day colors with pretty heels. yum.

2009-04-26T03:19:00.001-07:00

new blog new blog new blog! livejournal was getting a tad boring so here i am. at blogspot! meh. i'm awfully tired but i'm still sitting here with a pair of giant scissors, my new off white chucks, and a hella load of determination. oh the lengths one goes through to distress a pair of sneakers. and this is why i stick with heels. outfit posts start tomorrow. off to find a school outfit! <3

i'm really bad at this dirtying thing. i get all guilty.

2009-04-26T02:42:00.000-07:00

START! <3